Farewell, Mullins.

The time has come to say farewell to Mullins and our sweet little room within.

I've been very thankful for room #3329, located on the third floor and first door on the right of our hall, Doulos.

It's been a gift of God's kindness. 

It's been our little pocket of solace. 

It's been home away from home.

It's been a place of quiet rest and comfort.

We learned to make it our own. 

From coffee pots and flower bouquets, to fits of laughter and gentle tears. 

From our window view of sunrises and sunsets, to rainy days and blue skies.

Memories not only filled the crevices of this room, but also of our very beings.

I've loved it here. 

I thank the Lord for every bit of it.

Our season in Mullins has indeed been sweet, but the time has come for a change.

And I am certain that such a change will bring new joys for a new season.

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; 

I will recount all of your wondrous deeds."

Psalm 9:1

The Perfect Fall Day.

This is a picture-less post. 

I meant for it to be that way. 

In this particular blog, pictures would be limitations. 

And this story demands your fascinating imagination to visit the places of which I write.  

So if you wish it, read on.

     There is something wonderful about a perfect fall day. It begins as the sun peers around the world's edge to introduce the dawn. Those glorious rays so warm and golden travel through space and sky to caress my face and create a bright glow in the darkness of my still closed eyes. I slowly open my fire lit eyes and behold the glory of 

 the morning beyond the frosted glass of my window. As I peer out into the world, still in the warmth of my bed, shadows dance across my face from the wings of birds crossing the sunlight's path. 

      Observing the world with my head still pillowed, I hear the sound of soft laughter coming from below. The sound is soothing as I consider the joy that has already filled this home so early in the morning. I am certain they are in the kitchen because I hear metal against metal and the sound of utensils gently colliding. Something is baking in the oven. A homemade scent fills the room with its sweetness. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and pumpkin bread entices me to partake of its delicacies. I want to join the sweet company of those downstairs but the warmth of my quilt keeps me in bed a little while longer. 

       Frigid air made its way in through the cracks of the cabin last night, so I pull the blankets higher up to my face to cover my frozen nose. I look down by my feet and find my chocolate companion still lying there keeping my toes warm. She too has decided to stay indoors instead of chasing felines in the unforgiving cold of the morning. But at the sound of a soft whistle, she goes to her calling and leaves me a little colder. 

      I am now convinced to slowly slide out from under my covers. My feet meet the chilled wood floor with surprise. A wool pair of socks are tossed on the floor nearby which I swoop up and pull over my toes. Still feeling the harshness of the cold, I quickly grab a sweater graced on the back of the wicker chair at my desk. Now properly bundled, I descend the stairs to be greeted with even more sunlight penetrating the windows that line the walls. Pine and Aspen gently sway in the morning breeze as the sun peers over their tops and through their branches reaching my face. I now ignore any reason to stay in the warmth of the indoors and am certain I will indulge in the nature I see. 

      The day goes on and beckons me to come outside. Layer after layer, a scarf and hat later, I prepare myself for what lies beyond the warmth of home. As the glory of the morning passes and the brilliant sun reaches its peak, I find myself drenched in all of autumns splendor. This glorious tapestry is only explainable by Divine intervention upon the earth. Within my first few steps of entering the outdoors, I already hear the crackling sound of leaves underfoot. As I walk through the hilly field of golden rods, ferns and a plethora of trees, I look up and behold the sky. It is so big and blue speckled with clouds seeming to be miles overhead. In the distance sits a single raven atop a fence post lining the wood's edge. It's ebony outline distinguishes it as something dark and dreadful against the softer hues of autumn's pallet. All around me I see trees painted fiery colors of red, orange and yellow. I am captivated by even the little intricacies of the leaves that cling to their limbs a little while longer before they fall to their earthen grave. Each leaf is lined with gold dust from the sunshine penetrating translucent clouds above. 

      I hear rustling of branches from the brisk wind blowing in from the north. Hints of winter ride on its wings and the cold bites my nose. A rain like pattering sound comes without storm clouds or soggy downpours. I realize it is merely acorns dropping from a mighty oak towering over me. I hear the scampering of squirrels playing up above in its branches. They are tree ninjas. Above them flies a group of feathered long neck aviators that grab my attention. My gaze follows this V-shaped team flying south. I am so lighthearted that it wouldn't seem impossible for me to pull out my own wings and go with them.

      My attention is drawn from above when I find myself being mysteriously intrigued by a pungent smell that has reached my nose. It smells like a mixture of decaying woodlands and cider. I weave my way through the field in search of its source. I find a newly blossomed crab apple tree which I soon discover is the source of that smell. Reaching up in excitement, I pluck a premature apple and bite into its sourness. I realize that the hungry wood dwellers will probably enjoy the fruit of this tree more than I. 

      Now time has waned on me as I have explored the beckoning country side. The remaining beams of sunshine did not seem promising in my pursuit home but they were gracious to afford me the light necessary to make it back. A short distance from the house now, I see soft smoke being expelled from the chimney which is evidence that the soft glow of the light beyond the window panes is from a crackling fire inside. I know the shadowy figures of those I see walking back and forth behind the curtains will warmly embrace me once I return. But before I turn to head home I take one last look at the world I'm in.

      Upon this knoll, I take in everything surrounding me. The sun slips back around the world's edge to introduce the night. Those glorious rays that were once so warm and golden now seem to travel back through space and sky leaving my face chilled without its warm caress. Darkened hills below are tucked in for the night by an azure haze. The blackening night sky engulfs this small world with a million-starred embrace. Directly into the horizon lies a jagged snow capped outline of the distant mountain range. It appears harsh, yet magnificent. It is the towering attraction of all majesty within my view. The wind magically coos the earth to sleep and all becomes still. As the bitter breeze reaches my ears and nose I suddenly realize I am cold. But I am full. I am filled by the Divine intervention upon the face of the earth. I stand alone in the solitude of silence and yet still hear the earth quietly proclaim elegant pulchritude. I return to my home content with the embrace of a perfect fall day.

A Visit from Two.

A couple of weeks ago, Margo and I were graced with the presence of two amazing people.   

...yes, graced. 

The family was with the team in Corbin, KY doing a Thirst Conference. This was a blessing (thanks, Scheduling Dpt.) because that meant they were only three hours away! The plan was to meet the family  in Lexington (halfway point between Corbin and Louisville) and pick up Holly and Crista. They were going to come to school with Margo and I for a few days. 

And so they did. 

We had something sweet during those few days together. 

Whether it be 

watching Crista climb trees, 

making a tent in the rain, 

cleaning up our flooded room, 

sitting by a fire under the chilled blanket of a starry night,

listening to Josh Groban's "Noel",  

walking arm in arm as we talk about life honestly, openly, and transparently--as sisters should,

shedding tears and laughing a lot, 

being hilarious and ridiculous...

we were simply content and relieved to finally just be together.

 

 Life was still busy during this time though. It didn't stop. And to be honest, I didn't exactly either. Sometimes I can let busyness drown out the essentials. More often than not, the pursuit of busyness and the pursuit of faithfulness look very different. It's not the quantity of responsibility that matters but rather the quality of stewardship and faithfulness in how they are handled. I'm having to learn how to prioritize and be faithful in what I've been given now despite the consequences. 

But thankfully, the consequences of faithfulness are always blessings.  

I've realized that while the girls were here, I wasn't just a student, employee, friend, or even younger sister--I was a big sister too. I am a big sister. A big sister who needs to be intentional to nourish and shepherd the hearts of her younger siblings. It's so easy to be selfish. And no excuse affords such sin. 

It's important that I remember who God has called me to be, not just what He has called me to do.   

Living to the glory of God requires dying to self. 

Losing all of myself in all of God Himself. 

It's a humbling and selfless calling really. 

But nonetheless, the sweetest. 

I need much grace to learn how to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. 

How to love. 

How to give. 

How to serve. 

And indeed by God's grace, I am learning. 

In fact, life for us as sisters is being learned together. 

And I thank the Lord that I get to share it up close with them. 

These two beauties....gotta love 'em. I sure do! 

"...yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

James 4:14

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12

Margo.

Margo Breanna-
Happy Birthday!
23 years old and more beautiful than ever. 

Can I just take a moment and tell you how much I love this girl? 

I love her SO much. 

Even more than "to infinity and beyond". 

She's my big sister and best friend. 

The other pea to my pod.
The partner in my crime.
(that's usually how it turns out)

She's my confidant who makes life sweeter, richer, and a lot more fun. 

She makes me a better person and we laugh a lot together.
A whole lot. 

Her smile lights up a room and brightens my humdrum days.   

She's one of those people in my life who when I know is around, 

everything will be ok. 

I love journeying through life with her--

thick or thin, rain or shine, tears and laughter.

We help each other up and push each other forward.

We're not perfect sisters, but we're perfect together.

 The Lord gave me something wonderfully irreplaceable in Margo.

            He has graciously given us a beautiful sisterhood.

It is a gift I am thankful for;

it is a rarity I don't take for granted.  

I wouldn't trade her for anything. 
I'm thankful we get to brave life's ocean together.

Maybe not always hand in hand, but certainly always heart in heart. 

Margo loves Jesus.

It's not hard to see that. 

She is inseparable from her Great Lover. 

Like a soaked sponge, her love for Christ seeps out to those around her.  

And she challenges me to love Jesus deeper and pursue Him harder.

She's a beautiful vessel in the hands a masterful Craftsmen. 

People love her and she loves people. 

She's going to make a great teacher one day. 

Dream on and dream big, baby! 

      

I love you, Margo Breanna. 

To the best big sister one could ask for. 

"Touch the stars, oh Beautiful

Look for more, search higher still

There's a light in you

You're gonna shine, doll

You're gonna touch the stars." 

A Little Reflection.

      If you had asked me a year ago if I was excited about going to college, I probably would've told you that "excited" is not the first word that comes to mind. 

Words more like 

nervous,

unsure,

scared,

discontent and unprepared 

for a new and strange change would've described how I was feeling about it all. College was going to be different and foreign from what I had always known and had come to love so dearly. A change like this intimidated me. From road life to college life; from an established community and best friends to unfamiliar faces; from knowing what to expect to having no idea how to even get to my classrooms; from life in a trailer and host homes to life in a dormitory. Living out of a dresser and not a suitcase? What?!

Change; it was indeed nerve racking.

BUT...

if you were to ask me now if I am excited about school, I would say yes. I would say more than yes. Words like 

 excited, 

thankful, 

blessed, 

thriving and moving 

 forward in a new and thrilling world would describe how I feel about it all. Only by God's surpassing grace can I say these things. College has been different but I have grown to love it. It's a lot of work and really hard, but it's definitely been worth it. And all those unfamiliar faces have since become dear friends of mine.

I'm learning that my fear of change is ultimately a lack of faith and a failure to trust my Heavenly Father. This doesn't mean I never miss what once was, because trust me, I still do. But it does mean that in His faithfulness, the Lord does not let me remain there but graciously teaches and corrects me in the difficult transitions of life. He knows and calls me to Himself. As I press into Him, I find joy. As I rest in Him, I find contentment. I've learned that sometimes God calls us to do things that require brokenness and bravery. But those kinds of callings are the best. 

And it's in obedience to those callings that we will come to know more of Him...
...so I have found.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with ALL your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." 

-Jeremiah 29:11-14

And so I remember and recount the goodness of the Lord to me. 

He is indeed good, isn't He.

A Wednesday.

Here's just a little bit of Wednesday.

It's really not much but just a snippet of the day.

The morning was grey, cold, and soggy.

I liked it though. 

Sometimes it's these very mornings that really make it feel like fall.

 And I really, really like fall. And pumpkins.

Childhood winter nostalgia; the classic Ramen noodle.

A much needed note of reminder. We all need those. 

My office. 

It was finally cold enough to layer the long sleeves. 

This tree lit up with beauty as the sun set. 

Let's be honest, I think Margo and I have the best view on campus.
And it's quite convenient too because we can just open up our
 window and talk with friends as they come and go from Mullins. 

  My view everyday.
I'm more than blessed to live here.
#seenatsouthern

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for His is good, for His steadfast love endures forever."

Psalm 107:1

"Lasts" of Home.

Home. 

Such a small word that encompasses one of the largest parts of my heart. 

Being there this past week was like stepping into the middle of a whirlpool; a place still and peaceful from the rush of a busy life here in Louisville. 

At home I breathed. 

Not the kind of breathing you do merely to survive. That breathing is often done thoughtlessly and routinely. No.

This kind of breathing was deep and slow. Inhaling all home had to offer. 

Like when you inhale the beautiful scent of a rose, fresh chocolate chip cookies or a fresh pot of coffee brewing. Or how about the first hint of fall. You can smell all of it now, can't you?

Home was that sweet aroma. 

I rested at home. 

The type of rest where your heart beat literally slows down. The rest your heart, soul, mind, and body are thankful for. A rest where you abide in all of God Himself. 

So many good things happened over fall break--

long walks through the woods, fields, and dirt roads,

exploring barns and cornfields, 

making caramel apples and coffee,

feeding ducks at Notre Dame,

reading in the sunshine and eating pomegranates,

catching the gold of a sunset,

cherishing memories of an empty house, 

and taking in a final deep breath of a wonderful week. 

This is a long post, I know, but it's the "lasts" of home. Well, the "lasts" for now.

This will let you see a few more glories we experienced. 

A pipeline all the way from Alaska to Texas...via Michigan...how convenient.

The infamous Notre Dame

Yes, I did want to jump into that pile of leaves. 

 

This week I took time to marvel at our Creator through His creation.

When a sky is so blue and earth's hues so green, I just want to stop and stare at it all.  

And then there are the little wonders that take intentional observation.

Getting down low and looking very closely at every little detail.  

Marveling at small blossoms catching the sun's rays and the ruby red gems of a pomegranate. 

 It's in these things that hold a rare beauty I so often miss. 

  

   

 

That time of day where the sunlight gently kisses the tops of trees as the twilight pulls up the dark covers of night. It is a time of day you should not want to miss. 

I didn't want to miss it. 

So I captured it with a lens.

 

It looked a little different this time. 

Not the house itself, but the actually home. 

There weren't eight voices echoing through the walls like there usually are. 

There were no abrupt outbursts of laughter or song to dismiss the silence.

(Of course Margo and I still laughed and sang.)

The kitchen seemed empty. 

The family room wasn't bustling about. 

The bedrooms were bare and strangely quiet. 

No one was attempting to play Chop Sticks on the piano. 

(funny how we begin to miss the things we consider annoying at the time.)

Eating at the dining room table felt incomplete. 

The wood floors were silent from the pitter-patter of feet and paws.  

I wanted the vacant spaces of home to be filled with my family. 

Filled with Loveings. 

But not this time.

Prayerfully though, next time.  

 

To end it all, we took a walk. Coffee in hand, barefoot, and bundled up from the bite of the evening chill. Together, we watched the sun go down and caught its fire in our eyes. This was needed time for us both. To press pause and regain composure from a whirlwind. 

Everything was sweet and it's crazy what some good rest and food can do for ya. 

Above all, nothing fills my heart more than to know that all of this is from my Heavenly Father. How He provides for me! 

"Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" -Matt. 6:26

The Lord has provided everything I have needed in all circumstances and at all times. 

It takes a faith that I do not have on my own to believe that. 

"All I have needed Thy hand hath provided. Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me."

I have no reason to withhold such praise from an awe-inspiring, awesome, and awe-striking God.

He Who promises is indeed faithful. 

And I thank Him. 

I thank Him! 

And in faith, praise Him for His unchanging faithfulness to me.  

Home. 

It's beautiful, isn't it?